A fun quiz...

What Part of the Theatre World Are You?

This is actually quite accurate - have fun!

This one is good too, but only if you are a techie: The Theatre Geek Test

I thought I'd heard all the theatre jokes...

... but this one is pretty good.

Theatre terms

Eternity -
The time that passes between a dropped cue and the next line

Prop -
A hand-carried object small enough to be lost by an actor 30 seconds before it is needed on stage

Director -
The individual who suffers from the delusion that he or she is responsible for every moment of brilliance cited by the critic in the local review

Blocking -
The art of moving actors on the stage in such a manner as not to collide with the walls, the furniture, the orchestra pit or each other. Similar to playing chess, except that the pawns want to
argue with you.

Blocking Rehearsal -
A rehearsal taking place early in the production schedule where actors frantically write down movements which will be nowhere in evidence by opening night

Quality Theater -
Any show with which you were directly involved

Turkey -
Every show with which you were not directly involved

Dress Rehearsal -
Rehearsal that becomes a whole new ball game as actors attempt to maneuver among the 49 objects that the set designer added at 7:30 that evening.

Tech Week -
The last week of rehearsal when everything that was supposed to be done weeks before finally comes together at the last minute; reaches its grand climax on dress rehearsal night when costumes rip, a dimmer pack catches fire and the director has a nervous breakdown. Also known as "hell" week.

Set -
An obstacle course which, throughout the rehearsal period, defies the laws of physics by growing smaller week by week while continuing to occupy the same amount of space

Monologue -
That bright, shining moment when all eyes are focused on a single actor who is desperately aware that if he forgets a line, no one can save him

Dark Night -
The night before opening when no rehearsal is scheduled so the actors and crew can go home and get some well deserved rest, and instead spend the night staring sleeplessly at the ceiling because they're sure they needed one more rehearsal

Bit Part -
An opportunity for the actor with the smallest role to count everybody else's lines and mention repeatedly that he or she has the smallest part in the show.

Green Room -
Room shared by nervous actors waiting to go on stage and the precocious children whose actor parents couldn't get a baby-sitter that night, a situation
which can result in justifiable homicide

Dark Spot -
An area of the stage which the lighting designer has inexplicably forgotten to light, and which has a magnetic attraction for the first-time actor. A dark spot is never evident before opening night.

Hands -
Appendages at the end of the arms used for manipulating one's environment, except on a stage, where they grow six times their normal size and either dangle uselessly, fidget nervously, or try to hide in your pockets

Stage Manager -
Individual responsible for overseeing the crew, supervising the set changes, baby-sitting the actors and putting the director in a hammerlock to keep him from killing the actor who just decided to turn his walk-on part into a major role by doing magic tricks while he serves the tea

Lighting Director -
Individual who, from the only vantage point offering a full view of the stage, gives the stage manager a heart attack by announcing a play-by-play of everything that's going wrong

Makeup Kit -
(1) Among experienced community theater actors, a battered tackle box loaded with at least 10 shades of greasepaint in various stages of desiccation, tubes of lipstick and blush, assorted pencils, bobby pins, braids of crepe hair, liquid latex, old programs, jewelry, break-a-leg greeting cards from past shows, brushes and a handful of half-melted cough drops
(2) For first-time male actors, a helpless look and anything they can borrow

The Forebrain -
The part of an actors brain which contains lines, blocking and characterization; activated by hot lights

The Hindbrain -
The part of an actors brain that keeps up a running subtext in the background, while the forebrain is trying to act. The hindbrain supplies a constant stream of unwanted information. Such as who is sitting in the second row tonight, a notation to seriously maim the crew member who thought it would be funny to put real Tabasco sauce in the fake Bloody Marys, or the fact that you need to do laundry on Sunday.

Stage Crew -
Group of individuals who spend their evenings coping with 50-minute stretches of total boredom interspersed with 30-second bursts of mindless panic

Message Play -
Any play which its director describes as "worthwhile," "a challenge to actors and audience alike," or "designed to make the audiencethink." Critics will be impressed both by the daring material and the roomy accommodations, since they're likely to have the house all to themselves.

Bedroom Farce -
Any play which requires various states of undress on stage and whose set sports a lot of doors. The lukewarm reviews, all of which feature the phrase "typical community theater fare" in the opening paragraph, are followed paradoxically by a frantic attempt to schedule more performances to accommodate the overflow crowds.

Assistant Director -
Individual willing to undertake special projects that nobody else would take on a bet, such as working one-on one with the brain-dead actor whom the rest of the cast has threatened to take out a contract on.

Set Piece -
Any large piece of furniture which actors will resolutely use as a safety shield between themselves and the audience, in an apparent attempt to both anchor
themselves to the floor, thereby avoiding floating off into space, and to keep the audience from seeing that they actually have legs

Strike -
The time immediately following the last performance while all cast and crew members are required to stay and dismantle (or watch the two people who own Makita screw drivers) dismantle the set.

Actors (As defined by a set designer) -
People who stand between the audience and the set designer's art, blocking the view. That's also the origin of the word "blocking," by the way

Stage Right, Stage Left -
Two simple directions actors pretend not to understand in order to drive directors crazy. ("No, no, your OTHER stage right!")

Funny take on a popular musical

I didn't think the review as a whole was very detailed or interesting, but this opening paragraph is very witty:

"I saw a musical last night in Denver about a freak sociopathic loser who stalks a sweet young thing. He thinks that the girl "owes him" after he gives her some voice lessons. The freak goes nuts and kills some people after she rejects his creepy advances. And then we're supposed to feel sorry for this phantom of the opera."

Read the rest of it here.

How many of you honestly knew what musical was being described before reading the last sentence?

Some very excellent audition advice...

... here:

42ndstmoon.blogspot.com

A Very Cool Website...

http://www.pandora.com lets you put in the music that you like and then recommends other music for you based on a very detailed analysis of the musical elements.

The only problem? Can't get any cast recordings. :(

Once Upon A Mattress

I have finally gotten around to posting my review of the new 2005 TV version of Once Upon A Mattress.

Carol Burnett, as expected, was wonderful. I could tell she was having a great time playing Queen Aggravain, and she made the character as equally funny as she is awful.

I also thoroughly enjoyed Zooey Deschanel as Lady Larken. I've been a fan of hers ever since the bathroom singing scene in Elf, and I thought her personality and voice shone nicely. I also thought Matthew Morrison was a total cutie! Their chemistry was good.

I have to say though, I was not a big fan of Tracey Ullman's performance as Winnifred. While her acting was entertaining, I found her singing difficult to listen to. While Winnifred's songs are certainly not difficult to sing, they do have pleasant melodies, and I was dissapointed to find that Ullman's singing was so brassy that I couldn't hear the melodies at all.

Denis O'Hare was fine, I wasn't really moved either way, but I think this has to do with the fact that he was playing such a pitiful character that he was much too old for. A guy in his 40s needing the birds & bees talk?

I would have liked to see more of Michael Boatman as the Jester. He was good at what he did but he sure didn't get much to work with. Where was "Very Soft Shoes"?

Performances aside, I was horrified with how this show was cut up and calmed down. Yes, it is based on a fairy tale but it is NOT meant to be a children's musical, and that is what this Disney version was trying to be. They glossed over the racier parts which also means they glossed over quite a bit of the comedy. And it seems they spent their entire budget on Carol Burnett's outfits. Everyone else looked ridiculously plain in comparison.

Perhaps if this show hadn't been produced by Disney it would have been better...

Links to some other views on OUAM:

Peacebang's Review

Under the Lobsterscope's Review

Hit Musicals from Non-Musical Movies

Today I found an interesting article highlighting the musicals that are based on "straight" movies.

All the musicals mentioned have been quite successful, but are there others that followed this same formula that did not fare as well?

More nice words said...

I just love unsolicited praise!

read it here.

Christmas Concert Finally Over! (and venting about parent audiences)

The christmas concert I've been working on with the kids at the elementary school where I teach was finally performed this Wednesday night. It featured Christmas carols from various countries as we tracked santa's progress around the world. It was very cute. We had two "news anchors" sitting at a desk at the front of the stage and painted a map of the world on the back wall. Before the news anchors talked to the field reporters in each country, they asked the weathergirl for the Christmas Eve weather forcast for that city.

It went over very well, but I am always frustrated at these performances. Because I myself do quite a bit of performing, I try to make the experience for the kids as authentic and professional as possible. We use the correct terminology for things, I train one or two kids to act as stage managers and run all the sound and lights and they even call all their own cues on headsets. The kids take it very seriously. It is a really great moment for them when they finally get to put it all together.

The problem is that the parents don't seem to take it as seriously. Some come really early and then complain that the house isn't open, some come very late and cause a disturbance coming in, I even had a mother walk right across the front of the gym, right in front of the stage in the middle of a scene, walking right in front of the camera as we were taping the show. I know that they are very likely to bring young siblings, but is it too much to ask for them to keep them from crawling around on the floor and up under the dress of a primary girl as she performs in the choir? (Yes, that happened too!)

I know this happens all the time, but do I really have to just clench my teeth and bare it?

Win a free script tote!

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Shakespeare Resource

I bought this book recently and am very happy with it, both as a read on its own as well as a companion.

If you are someone who performs a lot of shakespeare (or plans to) I would strongly recommend it, since it contains valuable information about character breakdowns at a glance.